United States Eventing Association

For the past few months, we’ve been discussing our 200,000-year-old survival instinct and how it can cause all of us a lot of stress and struggle in the 21st century. We even talked about how the fears of failing, being watched, and being embarrassed are all linked to our evolutionary instinct to seek safety. After all, if our ancient ancestors had too many failed attempts crossing a river, felt like they were being watched in the middle of the night, or performed embarrassingly badly against a predator, there was a very good chance that day might be their last!

Fast forward to today, and most of us still struggle with many of those misfiring instinctual fears and feelings, and there are plenty more! Perhaps if we knew what they all were, we could stop blaming ourselves for feeling them and finally understand that we’re not chronically fearful. We’re just normal humans living with a really abnormal survival instinct. So, let’s look at four more fun facts and fears that connect back to our ancient cave-dweller days:

1. Imposter syndrome: Humans evolved in small groups where belonging was enormously important. For our ancestors, being accepted by the group wasn’t about social comfort; it was a matter of survival. Food, protection, and defense were all tied to that group, so being rejected, or being seen as someone who didn’t deserve to be there, could have serious consequences. As a result, our brains developed a powerful monitoring system: Do I belong? What do the others think of me? If we were found out, we’d be exposed and forced to leave the safety of the group.
2. Social comparison: Knowing our status within the group was also extremely important. Back then, we placed enormous value on being the strongest, fastest, and fittest, because… well, no one wants to be the slowest, weakest gazelle in the herd! Fast forward to today, and many of us still fall into the habit of comparing ourselves to others who seem more talented, successful, attractive, etc. than we are. Add in a little social media so our inner cave-dwellers can compare themselves to an entire planet full of people, and it’s not hard to see how social comparison can become an overwhelming habit.
   
3. Perfectionism: Earning the right to stay in the group, and always being mindful of how we were performing within it, led to the idea that If I make a mistake, I’ll stand out and become expendable. So enter perfectionism! Back then, it was really important to get things right the first time (don’t poke the wrong bear!). Skip forward to today, and many of us still convince ourselves that we must get something exactly right the first time, or else we’ll just avoid doing it altogether. The only difference between then and now is that we don’t poke bears anymore… we just ride horses!
4. FOMO: Scarcity thinking, more commonly known as the fear of missing out, also has its roots in our prehistoric grab-it-before-it’s-gone existence. When food and resources were uncertain, taking advantage of them immediately was clearly tied to survival. Missing out on those opportunities could have had some real-life (or lack-of-life) consequences. Skip forward to today, and many of us still feel a similar kind of anxiety about missing opportunities, experiences, success, possessions, attention, etc.

I wrapped up last month’s Pressure Proof tip with the unusual comment, “Fears aren’t our fault.” They’re just well-intended instincts that kept us safe at a time when safety wasn’t a certainty, but safety is much more of a certainty today. We don’t poke bears, cross many rivers, or wake up in the middle of the night feeling eyes on us. If we can learn to build a little distance between ourselves and our fears, while also taking less ownership of them, we can remove much of the power they’ve held over us. So this month, let’s continue that conversation with our inner cave-dwellers and remind them that we aren’t weak or wrong or cowards just because we feel fear… we’re just normal humans with an abnormal survival instinct.

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Pressure Proof tip! If you’re a trainer and enjoy mental coaching, please consider taking my instructor clinic course this month (or its take-from-home version). I’ll be teaching instructors how to teach eight sport psychology riding clinics, and I think you’d love them! For more info, visit https://www.pressureproofathlete.com/coaching.